Being fat is depressing. Being fat is depressing because society has decided that being fat is ugly. Thank you society! Sure there are a handful of famous overweight people who we think are pretty, but people always think "She is so pretty, but would be hot if she dropped 30 pounds." or "She has such a nice face." which we all know means "she is a fat chick with a nice face.". They never say "she is beautiful". So instead of deprogramming society into thinking I am beautiful, I needed to deprogram myself. That was a tall mountain to climb.
I'm not ugly. It took a long time for me to come to that realization. I am not ugly. And honestly I don't think anyone is ugly. Never have. I can find beauty in anything, but I never could find it in myself. I couldn't find it because it was hiding. So I had to go look for it.
What are some things you think are ugly? War, hunger, abuse, poverty, the list could go on and on. Are you any of those things? Surely not. Now what are you? I am a woman, a mother, a writer, an encourager and so on. What's more beautiful than a mother holding her child? How about a good book or an encouraging word? I can't think of anything.
Notice size 2 or skinny are not on my list. Does that mean I am not beautiful because society's thoughts on the subject are not on my list? Nope. I'm still beautiful. I'm just not in a size 2. I'm not going to base my beauty on my bra size. I'm not going to base my beauty on my pant size. I'm not going to place any value on what society says. Because society is only looking at one thing. The outside.
So I stopped listening to society. I cut my cable off. I quit reading fashion magazines. I quit trying to be something other people wanted me to be. I had to want to be me. That's hard when you are told you are ugly everyday. So don't put yourself in situations to hear that everyday.
I'm not saying go live in a cave, but if watching Oprah depresses you, maybe you should stop. If reading magazines full of clothes you can't wear doesn't make you giddy, you should probably put it back on the rack. Change what and who you expose yourself to. Society is full of negativity. Find something positive! Find a hobby you enjoy, read a good book, or, dare I say, write a blog. You are full of beauty! Beautiful ideas and thoughts and actions. Put them to work!
Now I have met many people and thought "this is a truly beautiful person". Were they super models? No. They were amazing, kind, generous people and I think that is beautiful. What is beauty but the opposite of ugly? Society can be ugly. Society can be mean, hateful, greedy, and harsh. These people are kind, loving, giving and warm. That is beautiful. That these people can come out of a sometimes evil society and be good. That beauty on the inside radiates to the outside and all around them. The beauty on the inside becomes the beauty on the outside when you unleash it.
So let it out. Then one day you will wake up, look in the mirror and think "wow, what a beautiful person".
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