One thing I hear in response to weight loss is "your boobs are the first thing to go". Not just in response to my personal weight loss, but in general. I must say that I was super excited about that. I know, I know, I should be happy about being 'blessed' with an ample bosom, and women pay good money for "boobs like mine". Well, I am willing to pay good money to get rid of mine. Or at least find someone to take pity on me and pay for me to get my boobs down to a single letter cup size. One can only hope...
So I got fitted for a bra today. I was proud of myself when she told me I was a 38. I used to be a 44. That is a huge improvement. So based on that I was expecting the cup size to be smaller too. It only makes sense right? I mean everybody told me "the first thing you lose is your boobs". Imagine my shock when she said "you're an F, but I can probably get you into a DDD". Wha? Excuse me? Did you say F? As in Freaking huge?
I just stood there with my mouth hung open. I was probably drooling a bit. I think I lapsed into a coma from the shock. I snapped out of it right before she tried to shake me. I shuddered and asked her to help me find a bra in that size. I refuse to call it "my" size.
In case you haven't noticed, I really hate having big boobs. I hate buying shirts because no matter what I wear my boobs show. I hate the looks and comments I get from strangers. If I had a dime for every time I was asked "are those real?" I could afford a breast reduction, and a home in Beverly Hills.
I just needed a plain white bra to wear with a white T-shirt. She found several styles for me. By now I was in a state of deep depression. I perked up a bit when she handed me DDDs and not Fs. I decided to make the best of my trip. And what do women do when we are depressed? We shop. And they had a killer sale.
So I got about $200.00 worth of bras for $68.00. Not bad. I figured I would reward myself for getting down to a 38. I haven't had any "pretty" bras in years so I got a couple. There is something about a pretty bra that makes a woman feel good about herself. I have no idea why, but it does. I don't know if the sight of his wife in a pretty bra is going to make my ever so frugal husband not want to choke the life out of me for spending $68.00 on bras (oh, and a super cute pair of earrings and a killer dragonfly ring).
So the good news is I have lost enough weight to get back into a size 38 bra. (My pre-kids bra size was 38) The bad news is about 200 or so people have lied to me about losing my boobs. I am willing to forgive them. If they all got together and chipped in they could get me that breast reduction. It's the least they can do for lying to me.
The journey continues.....
