It never fails. I start a weight loss plan and something happens to sabotage it. Murphy's law was at work in my home last week. Things were going great up until Thursday. I woke up with a fever. I will spare you the other details of my illness, but will say that today is my first day back on the treadmill. Yesterday would have been my first day. I was still very weak, but was determined. That was until I came home from church to find that my power was out. At that point I decided to cut my losses and start fresh Monday.
Well, it's Monday! I still feel like crap! I still hate my treadmill! I'm still fat! Blah. I am determined to start over. I have a new set of goals for the week. I did reach my first treadmill goal to complete the first preprogramed workout. I was quite proud of myself. So goal number two is to complete the second preprogramed workout. I am assuming they are going to get harder and not easier. This is the demon treadmill we are talking about.
Goal number three is a bit harder and long term. I want to cut my calorie intake down to 1000 calories a day. It is possible to take in only 1000 calories a day and not starve. I just have to figure out how. In the process I also need to watch my fat and sugars too. So I need to come up with a meal plan.
I plan on eating three pieces of cardboard a day, and keeping to my eight glasses of water a day as well. I kid. I need to consume most of my calories for breakfast, which I skipped this morning. I need to stop doing that as well. A lite lunch and early dinner are going to be challenging since my lunches usually consist of what I feed my kids and dinner is never before 6pm due to the hubby's schedule. Divorcing my husband and leaving my 5 kids with him might actually be easier. Hmmmm. Sorry, where was I?
Oh yes, dieting. Sugar is hidden in a lot of my favorite 'healthy' foods. I love a tall glass of orange juice and a big bowl of fruit for breakfast. That is now a no no. My favorite OJ has 110 calories per serving. Now pour that into my glass, and it goes up to 220. I can live with drinking black coffee and tea instead. I'll trade those 110 calories in the OJ for a scrambled egg since they are about equal, and the egg has protein. Making trades like this will work for me. I'm pretty sure this can be done. It's only till I turn 30. After that I will have learned enough about food to be able to make better decisions about it. Food is not my enemy. I am, which kinda sucks. Fighting with yourself over a Twinkie is never fun. You always lose.
So, lets recap. Last week sucked, I feel like crap, but I reached my first goal. My new goals for this week are to finish workout number two and to eat 1000 calories a day. Not that bad. The journey continues...
Monday, January 24, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
I am beautiful!
Being fat is depressing. Being fat is depressing because society has decided that being fat is ugly. Thank you society! Sure there are a handful of famous overweight people who we think are pretty, but people always think "She is so pretty, but would be hot if she dropped 30 pounds." or "She has such a nice face." which we all know means "she is a fat chick with a nice face.". They never say "she is beautiful". So instead of deprogramming society into thinking I am beautiful, I needed to deprogram myself. That was a tall mountain to climb.
I'm not ugly. It took a long time for me to come to that realization. I am not ugly. And honestly I don't think anyone is ugly. Never have. I can find beauty in anything, but I never could find it in myself. I couldn't find it because it was hiding. So I had to go look for it.
What are some things you think are ugly? War, hunger, abuse, poverty, the list could go on and on. Are you any of those things? Surely not. Now what are you? I am a woman, a mother, a writer, an encourager and so on. What's more beautiful than a mother holding her child? How about a good book or an encouraging word? I can't think of anything.
Notice size 2 or skinny are not on my list. Does that mean I am not beautiful because society's thoughts on the subject are not on my list? Nope. I'm still beautiful. I'm just not in a size 2. I'm not going to base my beauty on my bra size. I'm not going to base my beauty on my pant size. I'm not going to place any value on what society says. Because society is only looking at one thing. The outside.
So I stopped listening to society. I cut my cable off. I quit reading fashion magazines. I quit trying to be something other people wanted me to be. I had to want to be me. That's hard when you are told you are ugly everyday. So don't put yourself in situations to hear that everyday.
I'm not saying go live in a cave, but if watching Oprah depresses you, maybe you should stop. If reading magazines full of clothes you can't wear doesn't make you giddy, you should probably put it back on the rack. Change what and who you expose yourself to. Society is full of negativity. Find something positive! Find a hobby you enjoy, read a good book, or, dare I say, write a blog. You are full of beauty! Beautiful ideas and thoughts and actions. Put them to work!
Now I have met many people and thought "this is a truly beautiful person". Were they super models? No. They were amazing, kind, generous people and I think that is beautiful. What is beauty but the opposite of ugly? Society can be ugly. Society can be mean, hateful, greedy, and harsh. These people are kind, loving, giving and warm. That is beautiful. That these people can come out of a sometimes evil society and be good. That beauty on the inside radiates to the outside and all around them. The beauty on the inside becomes the beauty on the outside when you unleash it.
So let it out. Then one day you will wake up, look in the mirror and think "wow, what a beautiful person".
I'm not ugly. It took a long time for me to come to that realization. I am not ugly. And honestly I don't think anyone is ugly. Never have. I can find beauty in anything, but I never could find it in myself. I couldn't find it because it was hiding. So I had to go look for it.
What are some things you think are ugly? War, hunger, abuse, poverty, the list could go on and on. Are you any of those things? Surely not. Now what are you? I am a woman, a mother, a writer, an encourager and so on. What's more beautiful than a mother holding her child? How about a good book or an encouraging word? I can't think of anything.
Notice size 2 or skinny are not on my list. Does that mean I am not beautiful because society's thoughts on the subject are not on my list? Nope. I'm still beautiful. I'm just not in a size 2. I'm not going to base my beauty on my bra size. I'm not going to base my beauty on my pant size. I'm not going to place any value on what society says. Because society is only looking at one thing. The outside.
So I stopped listening to society. I cut my cable off. I quit reading fashion magazines. I quit trying to be something other people wanted me to be. I had to want to be me. That's hard when you are told you are ugly everyday. So don't put yourself in situations to hear that everyday.
I'm not saying go live in a cave, but if watching Oprah depresses you, maybe you should stop. If reading magazines full of clothes you can't wear doesn't make you giddy, you should probably put it back on the rack. Change what and who you expose yourself to. Society is full of negativity. Find something positive! Find a hobby you enjoy, read a good book, or, dare I say, write a blog. You are full of beauty! Beautiful ideas and thoughts and actions. Put them to work!
Now I have met many people and thought "this is a truly beautiful person". Were they super models? No. They were amazing, kind, generous people and I think that is beautiful. What is beauty but the opposite of ugly? Society can be ugly. Society can be mean, hateful, greedy, and harsh. These people are kind, loving, giving and warm. That is beautiful. That these people can come out of a sometimes evil society and be good. That beauty on the inside radiates to the outside and all around them. The beauty on the inside becomes the beauty on the outside when you unleash it.
So let it out. Then one day you will wake up, look in the mirror and think "wow, what a beautiful person".
Monday, January 17, 2011
A Fat Mom Signs Up for a 10K.
Today is the day I sign up for a 10k. I'll admit I am a little nervous. But I can't back out. Why? Because I booked and paid for the hotel rooms already. Sooo I have to go. I have put it off long enough. There are some up sides to this thing. Like it's going to be just me and my hubby in our favorite town, Charleston SC, for four days. First time in TEN years we have been alone. Don't know if I am going to make it through day two(10k day) though.
I have done a couple of 5k races with my oldest daughter and my incredibly fit, makes me so sick when he eats a bag of cookies and loses ten pounds hubby. I had no idea what to expect in my first 5k, but after I fell over the finish line I made the decision to quit smoking because I lost a lung before the one mile mark.
These small races have made me think about my overall health, or lack thereof. I made some small changes. Mostly to my wardrobe. Hey, if a girl can find an excuse to buy a new pair of shoes she's gonna take it. The new shoes and new running pants surprisingly did not improve my ability to run. But I did look super cute trying. I needed something to help me run better. Other than running outside. It's cold out there and people can see me. I might get hit by car. I don't know how anyone could not see a nearly 200 pound woman jiggling down the street in hot pink, but it could happen. At last I came up with an idea.... I bought a treadmill!
So now I have a treadmill. Yes, a treadmill. Not much else to say about it really. Other than I hate it. It is a constant reminder of just how much money I am putting into this whole ordeal. Also, it has a display that tells me just how out of shape I am. Wonderful thing, a treadmill. Work of the Devil is more like it.
To answer your question, yes I am using the treadmill everyday. Ok, everyday but yesterday. <---see, that's me being honest on my journey. My goal for this week is to finish the first pre-programed, 30 minute workout. Sounds easy. It's not. The treadmill of Satan inclines and goes up to 10mph. Oh happy day!
What does all of this have to do with a 10k you ask? Well, this is a mighty big race. 40,000 people big. You have to sign up by your ability, and the treadmill from hell tells me I have no ability. I am going to sign up for the run/walk category. My goal is to finish in under 2 hours. I finished the last 5k in 45 minutes, knocking on death's door. I think 2 hours is a safe bet. Can I do it? Find out in April! The Journey continues!
I have done a couple of 5k races with my oldest daughter and my incredibly fit, makes me so sick when he eats a bag of cookies and loses ten pounds hubby. I had no idea what to expect in my first 5k, but after I fell over the finish line I made the decision to quit smoking because I lost a lung before the one mile mark.
These small races have made me think about my overall health, or lack thereof. I made some small changes. Mostly to my wardrobe. Hey, if a girl can find an excuse to buy a new pair of shoes she's gonna take it. The new shoes and new running pants surprisingly did not improve my ability to run. But I did look super cute trying. I needed something to help me run better. Other than running outside. It's cold out there and people can see me. I might get hit by car. I don't know how anyone could not see a nearly 200 pound woman jiggling down the street in hot pink, but it could happen. At last I came up with an idea.... I bought a treadmill!
So now I have a treadmill. Yes, a treadmill. Not much else to say about it really. Other than I hate it. It is a constant reminder of just how much money I am putting into this whole ordeal. Also, it has a display that tells me just how out of shape I am. Wonderful thing, a treadmill. Work of the Devil is more like it.
To answer your question, yes I am using the treadmill everyday. Ok, everyday but yesterday. <---see, that's me being honest on my journey. My goal for this week is to finish the first pre-programed, 30 minute workout. Sounds easy. It's not. The treadmill of Satan inclines and goes up to 10mph. Oh happy day!
What does all of this have to do with a 10k you ask? Well, this is a mighty big race. 40,000 people big. You have to sign up by your ability, and the treadmill from hell tells me I have no ability. I am going to sign up for the run/walk category. My goal is to finish in under 2 hours. I finished the last 5k in 45 minutes, knocking on death's door. I think 2 hours is a safe bet. Can I do it? Find out in April! The Journey continues!
Yeah, i'm fat.
I'm not as fat as I used to be though! I do have that going for me. But still, I am FAT. How fat did I used to be? Funny you should ask that. I'm not real sure because after the needle on the scale hit 230 I quit looking. Now this is without being pregnant. In my opinion, pregnancy shouldn't count. Not only are you adding another human to your poundage, but it's a given that you are going to gain weight then. Kinda like a freebie. A freebie you don't want. A freebie I got five times.
I bet you are wondering how much I weigh now. I'll get to that. I need to build up some courage first. So I will show you what made me think "maybe I need to lose a few pounds". If you have any small children, much loved pets, or anyone with a heart condition in the room, you may want to ask them to leave for a sec.
Yeah, the fat one is me. Now this is two and a half months after I had my fifth child. But really that is no excuse. I was freaking huge! I'll take being just fat any day over that. I can honestly say I will never go back to that again. Like I said, I don't know exactly how much I weighed there, but it was well over 200 pounds and I was wearing a size 22 pants. I am 5'4 by the way. Yeah, that's big.
So I dieted. Sort of. And I exercised. Sort of. And I got down to 170. Is 170 what I weigh right now? Nope. Yeah, I am on my way back to being huge.
So what changed to make me want to hop back on the wagon? My absolute fear of weighing 200 pounds or more again. The fact that I can't run. The fact that I used to have abs and muscles and a cute little tush. Believe it or not, I used to be skinny. At one point I weighed 110 pounds. I had a 'six pack'. My butt looked fanfreakingtastic. I had the legs of a super model. Ok, a short super model. I used to be very active. I worked out every day, I ran everyday, I watched what I ate everyday. I bet I can guess your next question.....
What the heck happened!!!!! Life. I got married and had 5 kids rather quickly. I got very comfy in my lifestyle of being a stay at home mom. Lets face it, it's hard to go to the gym if you have five kids. Who is going to watch all of them for free while I go to the gym? Nobody. But I will spare you all of the blah, blah ,blah that is my excuse and tell you what I am doing now.
As I said before, I sort of exercised and dieted. I cut out all sweets and sodas including my beloved sweet tea. I walked every now and then. I did take Phentramine for a while, but I never could keep the weight off after I quit taking it. So this time, no drugs. I am exercising. I'll stay on it. As for the watching what I eat....that's a little hard. I am going to have to cook my food separate from everyone elses. It wouldn't be fair to put the six skinny people in the house on a diet.
So what is my goal? To lose 55 pounds by my 30th birthday (May). That will get me to 130. I will be happy with that. Do I want to get back to 110? No. Honestly, that is not healthy for me. I want to be healthy more than I want my butt back where it belongs. Although it would be nice if it would stop migrating.
So welcome to the Journey of a Fat Mom! It's going to be an interesting ride.
Oh, and I weigh 185. *runs away*
I bet you are wondering how much I weigh now. I'll get to that. I need to build up some courage first. So I will show you what made me think "maybe I need to lose a few pounds". If you have any small children, much loved pets, or anyone with a heart condition in the room, you may want to ask them to leave for a sec.
So I dieted. Sort of. And I exercised. Sort of. And I got down to 170. Is 170 what I weigh right now? Nope. Yeah, I am on my way back to being huge.
So what changed to make me want to hop back on the wagon? My absolute fear of weighing 200 pounds or more again. The fact that I can't run. The fact that I used to have abs and muscles and a cute little tush. Believe it or not, I used to be skinny. At one point I weighed 110 pounds. I had a 'six pack'. My butt looked fanfreakingtastic. I had the legs of a super model. Ok, a short super model. I used to be very active. I worked out every day, I ran everyday, I watched what I ate everyday. I bet I can guess your next question.....
What the heck happened!!!!! Life. I got married and had 5 kids rather quickly. I got very comfy in my lifestyle of being a stay at home mom. Lets face it, it's hard to go to the gym if you have five kids. Who is going to watch all of them for free while I go to the gym? Nobody. But I will spare you all of the blah, blah ,blah that is my excuse and tell you what I am doing now.
As I said before, I sort of exercised and dieted. I cut out all sweets and sodas including my beloved sweet tea. I walked every now and then. I did take Phentramine for a while, but I never could keep the weight off after I quit taking it. So this time, no drugs. I am exercising. I'll stay on it. As for the watching what I eat....that's a little hard. I am going to have to cook my food separate from everyone elses. It wouldn't be fair to put the six skinny people in the house on a diet.
So what is my goal? To lose 55 pounds by my 30th birthday (May). That will get me to 130. I will be happy with that. Do I want to get back to 110? No. Honestly, that is not healthy for me. I want to be healthy more than I want my butt back where it belongs. Although it would be nice if it would stop migrating.
So welcome to the Journey of a Fat Mom! It's going to be an interesting ride.
Oh, and I weigh 185. *runs away*
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)